I am a whacky wizard
With whacky wizard ways.
I feast on chicken gizzards
And jars of mayonnaise!
I change grown-ups into ketchup
And kids to tater tots.
Then I mix them all together
And put them in a pot.
For I am the kind of wizard
Whose magic power is food.
I drink milkshakes made of lizards.
I’m a whacky wizard dude.
My neighbors are very frightened
Of the wicked things I do.
I change their pets to hot dogs
And have a barbecue.
But wizardry is lonely
And my food is much too rich.
It’s not much fun to eat alone,
I guess I’ll find a witch!