When Christopher Columbus stood the egg upon its end,
He solved a weighty problem that no one could comprehend—
Perhaps it was the puzzle whose solution clearly showed
The psychologic motives of the hen that crossed the road.
Perhaps cold storage minstrels never might have heard of this
If it hadn’t been for Chris.
Columbus packed his little grip and got upon the train
And went to see that noble man, King Ferdinand of Spain.
Result: He found America—oh, do not idly nod,
For if it hadn’t been for this we couldn’t go abroad!
Just think of all the travel and the voyages we’d miss
If it hadn’t been for Chris.
Columbus found America and won a lot of fame—
Nobody ever thought to ask him how he knew its name;
Nobody ever booked him for some lectures to declare
In eloquent assertions how he knew the land was there.
Today we might be savages, unknowing modern bliss,
If it hadn’t been for Chris.
He landed near Havana, and he said: “It seems to me
That sometime in the future little Cuby shall be free.”
His vision was prophetic—far adown the future’s track
He saw the dauntless Hobson and the sinking Merrimac.
We might have still been tyros in the ethics of the kiss
If it hadn’t been for Chris.
Today there are big cities and big buildings named for him,
And yet he was so poor that once he thought he’d have to swim
To find this wondrous country, for he was so badly broke;
But Isabella nobly put her watch and ring in soak.
Who knows but Isabella never might have thought of this
If it hadn’t been for Chris?