The Three Little Pigs by Alfred Scott Gatty

A JOLLY old sow once lived in a sty,

 And three little piggies had she,

And she waddled about saying ‘Umph! umph! umph!’

 While the little ones said ‘Wee! wee!’

‘My dear little brothers,’ said one of the brats,

 ‘My dear little piggies,’ said he;

‘Let us all for the future say Umph! umph! umph!

 ’Tis so childish to say Wee! wee!’

Then these little pigs grew skinny and lean,

 And lean they might very well be;

For somehow they couldn’t say ‘Umph! umph! umph!’

 And they wouldn’t say ‘Wee! wee! wee!’

So after a time these little pigs died,

 They all died of felo de se;

From trying too hard to say ‘Umph! umph! umph!’

 When they only could say ‘Wee! wee!’

A moral there is to this little song,

 A moral that’s easy to see;

Don’t try when you’re young to say ‘Umph! umph! umph!’

 For you only can say ‘Wee! wee!’

Note: Felo de se= Self Murder